Hello dear friends!

Those who were worried about me and my UMAT (read the previous journal for more information if you have forgotten), I would like to thank you for your support and companionship. For those of you who already know what has happened to me, you can skip the next couple of paragraphs.

The results came out 1 month ago. When I saw my results up on the comp. screen, I saw that I missed out on my first preference university's cut-off score by 2 marks..... 2 marks... I was absolutley mortified. Being an Asian I know how Asian parents are very strict and very sensitive regarding their son/daughter's academic performance. I was going to tell my parents, but seeing their expectant faces, their hopeful words of encouragement.... tore my heart apart. I just simply could NOT bring myself to tell them for fear of shattering their hearts. But one night (5 days ago), I received a phonecall while my parents were out eating dinner. It was mum. "Hi, Thomas. How are you going with your assignment? Good? Ok. I need you to be honest with me now."

"...Ok."

"I heard that UMAT results were out. (sarcastic tone)"

"..."

"So... when did you look into it?"

"..."

"How long have you been keeping this from me?"

"...*after a pause, i told her everything... yes i even told her how close i was*..."

"*disappointed snort*!"

"..."

"So... you didn't get in right? It is confirmed now that you did not make it into University of Queensland Medicine/Surgery right?"

"..."

"How did your friends go? Did they all pass?"

"No... most of them failed... I---"

"---If you were going to do this bad, then why bother applying for medicine at all?"

"....Mum...."

"if you were going to do this bad, THEN WHY BOTHER AIM FOR DOCTOR!!!!!!"

"..."

"NOW HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GO OUT IN PUBLIC WITHOUT FEELING EMBARRASSED!!!! IF YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS BAD, THEN WHY BOTHER TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR HOPES FOR MEDICINE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"..."

"I AM ASHAMED OF YOU!!!!!!!! *hangs up*" <--- This is when I broke down... I couldn't take it in.

Although, I may be suffering from emotional distress, and being scorned at, I have not given up on my dream. I have other pathways already devised. I will undergo an undergraduate program. In the final year of the course, when I receive good grades, I will undergo a whooping 6 hour-long exam called GAMSAT (Graduate Australian Medical School Admissions Test). If I pass that one, God willing, my path to accomplishing my goal would be incomparably clear and smooth with basically no obstacles.

This journal was written to serve 2 purposes. One was to tell everyone honestly what happened to me and UMAT, and the other purpose was to tell everyone, to NEVER GIVE UP, whether it be failed romance, shitty lifestyle, events like "this", etc.

I live my life with one motto: "Patience, persistence and perspiration make up an unbeatable combination for success." ~Napoleon Hill

Until then, good luck to all of you!!!